Holidays the perfect time for 'package of poop on the porch'

By Joe Vargas

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It’s the holiday season and it’s the time of year for festivities, family, and fun. It’s also the best time of year for thieves operating in a target-rich environment. There is no doubt as you go about your holiday shopping that plenty of crooks out there would like nothing more than to play the role of Grinch and ruin your holiday.

According to the 2018 Deloitte survey, an estimated 60 percent of us will shop online. That means hundreds of millions of dollars of retail merchandise packages will be sitting on front porches just waiting to be snatched up by droves of opportunistic pilferers.

These people wander about all day in their vehicles targeting “safe” neighborhoods, looking for the right homes to target. Quiet streets with little to no foot traffic and empty driveways are their favorite.

Once you’ve been victimized, it’s frustrating and creates a sense of helplessness. High-tech surveillance systems do help but often you end up with a very high-resolution picture of someone who has yet to be identified.

I like another approach that started a few years ago and is due for a revival this time of year. It has to do with behavior modification. The simple explanation is you create a negative experience for the perpetrator and hopefully they think twice before snatching up your hard-earned packages.

That’s where the “package of poop on the porch” strategy comes into play. It seems in neighborhoods all over the country residents are leaving delivery boxes on the porch filled with, you guessed it, poop.

The repackaged boxes are left on the porch in plain sight, tempting anyone with a criminal bent to come take them. Filled with dog excrement, or in some cases dirty diapers, the packages serve as a bait. One can only imagine the surprise on their faces when the box is opened.

There is even one technically savvy individual who created an exploding package of poop. Not that we would recommend that approach, but the video is sure great to watch. What is it about seeing a crook get their just desserts that is so rewarding?

My family and I have already started collecting our canine and toddler contributions. I have encouraged my neighbors to do the same. My Ring doorbell is set to record and now I just wait and see. It’s like fishing, only maybe even more satisfying.

I encourage you to do the same. By the way, if you get any on video we are more than happy to share them with the world on our page.

Until then, good fishing.

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